Memories

Someone asked me a few days ago.

Why is it still there?

Why is it not gone?

Doesn't it hurt?

My answer was : a smirk.

That was all.

Because to be honest, I don't know how much more I can bare.

I've lost myself in between all of this.

A huge part of me wants to apply for the position, run away from everything that is hurting me.

Because to be honest, it is not only hurting me.

It is also killing me inside, a huge part of me.

But a small part of me is still asking me questions.

Is it worth running away?

How many more times am I capable of doing it?

Am I really that weak?

I know my parents can sense my pain.

They wanna come all the way just to give me a hug.

They are all I have left.

But the truth is, every time I stare at these 4 walls,

my eyes start to tear up a little.

It's not because I miss that person or what not.

But of what he did to me.

The pain lingers, so bad.

If I could rip it off me, I would have done it.

It is so unfair, because when he left, when he broke what is left of me,

he left one major thing behind.

The memories.

Every corner of this room reminds me of the time we had.

Every pray I had upon him when he was sick in bed.

When I had to shower him, to ease the fever out.

Yes, even my bathroom remind me of the time we had.

It sucks.

Because I wanna delete it all.

I want to forget all.

Maybe after that it won't hurt that bad.

Because even when I'm in the kitchen cooking,

I can still picture it.

I just want the pain to stop.

I really do.

Because in the end, I know I was the one being a fool.

A very stupid fool.